


Submerge

by coverofnight



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 05:04:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coverofnight/pseuds/coverofnight
Summary: Joan and Vera go to the beach.





	Submerge

The early morning light washes Vera's face out of view as she looks over her shoulder at me. She squints, holds her free hand to her forehead to cast the sun out of her sight. Her other hand holds mine, pulls me along, forces me to follow.

Vera's pace is quick and I, in my black swimsuit and sarong, stumble behind her. Heat and sunlight seep into my skin. Warm sand slips between my toes. The smell of salt water soothes my anxiety about it all.

There are people in the distance -- ones who don't look as vampiric and afraid as I must on a Saturday morning by the water. Figures with golden skin in bright swimsuits move along the beach. Flaxen hair waves itself free. The people smile, they laugh; they revel in the feeling of the sun on their faces and the sand between their toes. I try my best not to think about it too much.

Vera weaves her fingers with mine. I smile when her grip firms because she has so many little ways of acknowledging my uneasiness. A quick smile or nod in any other situation will do. But here, in a place I've dutifully avoided for years, Vera knows it's best to hold me.

I look her over, as I often do, and try to appreciate the simple things about her. Like the way her shoulder blades press together as she turns to egg me on.

“Come on, Joan. You're not afraid of a little water, are you?” Her voice is playful and loving, no longer filled with the fear I once heard in it.

I've mellowed in our months together, so much so that I allow her to lead me. Tease me. Love me.

She's made me realize that to love is not weakness, but a kind of strength that sets one free. So, when she taunts me here under the sun’s unforgiving light, I let her. I smile, even, because the promise of unconditional love is not something I ever had before Vera. After all is said and done, she still takes me as I am.

I watch on, as if disconnected from myself, as a petite body in a green swimsuit and white cover-up leads me to the water’s edge. Vera's image plays before me like a grainy, old film or a mirage; she doesn't feel completely real.

Together we stand looking out at the vastness of the sea. Somehow, it puts all the awful things I've done into perspective. Vera closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and lets the water’s calm overtake her. Her hand pulls mine close to bless it with a kiss. Again, I smile.

“How about a swim?” she says, squinting an eye as she tries in vain to look at me. “Think you're up for it?”

Words don't find their way to my mouth in time, but I nod and let her lead me once again. She drops her cover-up to the ground, then turns to untie my sarong. With my legs fully exposed now, I feel quite naked and a touch embarrassed. Not that I have any shame in my body. Not at all. It all just seems too great an effort to get me to do something as simple as swim. But Vera and my own heart both tell me I need it.

Vera rests her hands on my hips, gives them a light squeeze. Then she's off into the water, waving me on and encouraging me to join her.

In time, I do. I edge my way closer to her, allowing the water to consume me inch by inch until I'm fully submerged, head and all. I like the way the water cools my skin, halts my breath, clears the mind.

In the water, I am weightless but not without purpose. Just beyond the surface is the woman I love, the air I breathe. The water makes me I feel as though I could be reborn. When a tender hand grazes my face, I know that all is possible.

I come up for air. A kiss. A familiar embrace. Where there's life, there's hope. And life’s precious flame still lives inside of me.

Suddenly those golden figures in the distance no longer seem so far away.


End file.
